The Four Tommies Meet
by Psycho Tangerine
Summary: What happens when Tommy meets different versions of himself? Will their combined egos go more out of control than usual? Will they manage to keep from killing each other? This includes a very brief suggestion of slash as part of the joke.


Disclaimer: I own none of the characters in this story. I wouldn't want to own Tommy even if you paid me...yecccchhhh...

Thanks to Power Rangers Central for the information on weaponry.

Ok this is a one-shot story. I got the suggestion from Dagmar. And I just couldn't resist. Since this is not the usual kind of meeting, I didn't put it into my other series. Please let me know if I made any goofs. It got a bit difficult keeping all four characters in order.

**The Four Tommies Meet**

**by**

**Eileen (Psycho Tangerine)**

"White Ranger Power!"

Tommy Oliver studied his morphed form in the full-length mirror. "Well, hello there, Handsome. What's a stud like you doing in a place like this? I bet all the girls just love how you look in that tight spandex."

His communicator beeped. "Tommy," came Alpha's voice. "Our sensors picked up your morphing. Is there anything wrong? Do you need the other Rangers to assist you?"

Oh, Kim could be of great 'assistance' to me, he thought. "Uh, no Alpha, I uhhh…just had a little Tenga problem. But it's taken care of. Wanna come to a barbecue tonight? I hear they taste just like chicken."

"Ayiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi, I don't eat. But maybe if Zordon lets me go…"

"Forget it, Alpha," boomed Zordon's voice in the background. "Tommy's just at it again." There was a beep and Zordon's voice came directly over the communicator. "Mr. Oliver, this is the hundredth time I am telling you. Stop morphing just to look at yourself in the mirror. Even Kim doesn't do that…Sheesh!"

"Uh, oh, Zordon," said Tommy while making fizzing noises with his mouth. "You're breaking up, I can't hear…" He clicked off the communicator then turned back to the mirror. "Now, where were we?"

CRASH! Someone came flying through the window. Tommy turned around and gasped at what he saw. "You..you…you…no, it can't be! I got rid of you! You're going to have to pay for that window."

"Heheheheh…cough….ehehe," cackled the Green Ranger. "Yes, Tommy Oliver, it is me, Tommy Oliver. Rita's third cousin on her father's side, Findyerfuture, told me all about my 'yeccchh' future do-gooder self. So, he used a spell and sent me here to destroy…. Errr…I mean kill you." He tapped his Dragon Dagger nonchalantly. "Good thing I had some vacation days coming otherwise Rita wouldn't have let me go."

Still morphed in his White Ranger outfit, Tommy Oliver took a defensive stance. "Are you nuts? If you kill me, then you're killing yourself as well!"

Green Tommy Oliver stopped smirking inside his helmet and frowned. "Oh, I didn't even think of that." He pressed a button on his own communicator. "Mistress, how can I kill him without being killed?"

"Hey!" responded Rita Repulsa in her trademark screech. "I'm not paying you to ask questions."

"You don't pay me at all," retorted Green Tommy.

"Just for that, you're going to flea-comb Goldar when you get back here! Now, just do what you're told and kill the White Ranger!"

"Yes, Mistress," growled Green Tommy as Rita ended the transmission. Then he turned to White Tommy who was holding Sabba in a defensive position. "Well, you heard her, I gotta kill you. Nothing personal, mind you. After all, you do look good in that nice White spandex."

"I know," gloated White Tommy. "Kim can't stop staring at me." He paused in confusion, "neither can Jason."

"Ewww…I'll make sure not to miss when I trap him in the dark dimension tomorrow. Now, stand still so this won't hurt too much." Green Tommy held out his Dragon Dagger and aimed straight for his heart. White Tommy held out Sabba and aimed straight for Green Tommy's heart.

CRASH! A red race car rammed through the bedroom wall and skidded to a stop between the two daggers. Both daggers bounced ineffectually off the shiny metal.

"Owww!" cried Sabba. "This is NOT in my contract. You'll be hearing from my lawyer!"

"Who dares to interrupt me and my prey?" snarled Green Tommy.

"You're going to have to pay for that wall," announced White Tommy.

"Wow," came an extremely familiar voice from inside the car. "I didn't know breaking the sound barrier could do this." Both Tommies gasped as a Red Ranger pulled himself out of the car. The Red Ranger gasped in reply when he realized who he was looking at.

"I thought this bedroom looked familiar. Kim and I spent a lot of nigh….KIM!" he suddenly sobbed, throwing himself onto the floor. "Why did you have to leave me?"

White Tommy and Green Tommy ogled the now tantrumming man in consternation, having temporarily forgotten that they were in a fight. "Uh, not to be rude or anything, but who are you?"

Red Tommy got up from the floor and took off his helmet. "Why, I'm Tommy Oliver, the Red Turbo Ranger."

"I get to be the Red Ranger?" asked Green Tommy in amazement. "Whoohoo! I must've killed Jason at some point after all!" He did a victory dance. Then he stopped and looked at White Tommy. "Wait, you must've done it, because if I had killed Jason, I would've grabbed Red immediately rather than that sissy-boy White."

But White Tommy was concerned about something else. "What did you just say about my Kimmie?" He could've sworn this Red version of him had said that his Pink darling would leave him.

Red Tommy gulped a few times, trying to gain back his composure. "Do us both a favor. When she decides to go to train as a gymnast in Florida…DON"T LET HER Go! Some so-called best friends have no qualms 'visiting' their buddy's girl every night while pretending to be in Geneva. Friendly scuba-diving, my ass!"

"Hey!" interrupted Green Tommy. "If you're going to kill Jason at some point, then you're just as evil as I am and only pretending to be the great hero! Wow! I don't need to kill mys…uh…I mean you after all!"

White Ranger blinked for a minute as he processed this bit of information. "Uh…yeah, sure…. I've already made my 'Kill Jason and Take his Red Ranger Power Plans.'" He hoped Green Tommy wouldn't t see through this lie; he really had no desire to fight himself. It was just too weird.

"But, you didn't ki…OWWW!" cried Red Tommy as White Tommy stomped on his foot. "Oh," said Red Tommy as White Tommy whispered in his ear. "I mean…oh I am so glad that I killed my former best friend. I always wanted to be Red."

"Yeah, I love the color of blood as well." Green Tommy laughed as he pointed to the Red helmet. The other two Tommies laughed uncomfortably with him.

White Tommy stopped laughing and looked at the racecar. "Since when did I start racing cars? I mean, my Uncle John owns a racetrack. But he's such a jerk, I could never work with him. What about my karate? What about that football team I joined that I never seem to get around to practicing with?"

Red Tommy blanched at this. "Oh, I uhh…"

CRASH something crashed through the bedroom ceiling.

"Oh, come on now!" complained White Tommy as everyone shook the plaster out of their hair. He turned to the small timeship. "You're paying for that ceiling!"

"Sorry," came the still extremely familiar voice. "I had to be quick with stealing this Time Ship and didn't really have the time to learn how to land it properly. But I don't think Jen will care, she's probably too busy making kissy faces with Wes."

"Just like I used to make kissy faces with my Kimmie!" whined Red Tommy.

"I can't believe I was ever that pathetic," commented Black Tommy as he took off his helmet.

The other three Tommies gasped. "You...you...you..."

"Yeah, I know, I'm Tommy Oliver also. Our sensors picked up a gigantic concentration of me at this time. So I thought I should check it out." He noticed that the other three Tommies had demorphed and did so as well.

"It's not that," said White Tommy. "You cut your...my hair. My beautiful, beautiful hair." He suddenly rammed Black Tommy into the wall. "How's my Kimmie going to run her hands through my gorgeous locks while staring lovingly into my eyes?"

"Are you deaf?" snapped Red Tommy. "Kim's not with me anymore. Now I'm stuck with some frigid ice princess with an obsession for ballet. I'm sick of having to put on a tutu just to get her into the mood!"

"Ah, yes, now I remember why I got into car racing in the first place." Black Tommy slipped away from White Tommy and flopped back on the bed. "It was the only place that Kat wouldn't go and bother me. She hated the grease and smell of burning rubber."

Green Tommy had just been staring at Tommy in awe. "You...I get to be a Black Ranger? Oh, that's the best color of all...such a dark, evil, foreboding color." He began to cackle insanely.

White Tommy snorted. "Yeah, I'm sure Zack and Adam were evil just because they wore black."

Green Tommy deflated at this. "Can't a guy have something to look forward to without you messing it up?"

"Is it my fault you're a complete doofus?"

"Uh, yeah," retorted Green Tommy. "You're me, remember?"

"Well, at least I'm not dumb enough to believe that I'd kill my very best friend." White Tommy didn't even notice his Red and Black selves waving frantically at that. "I probably got be Red because I deserve the leadership position as Zordon's favorite."

"What!" asked Green Tommy in a low threatening voice.

Black Tommy shook his head in dismay. "I can't believe I was ever that dense. Must have been all that hair."

Red laughed. "I can't believe that I've been so many colors. What's next? Pink? Or maybe I get to take Zordon's place and mentor the team myself."

"Well, as a matter of fact," began Black Tommy.

"Please don't tell me there's a Pink version of me," growled Green Tommy who had silently remorphed. "It's bad enough that I have to kill all three of you now."

"But won't that be killing yourself?" asked Red Tommy.

"I already asked that," replied White Tommy. "Forget it, you can't reason with one of Rita's slave boys."

"Slave boy! I'm not a slave boy! I'm a vicious, ferocious warrior!"

The Red and White Tommies sniggered. "One who sat on Rita's lap whenever she asked him to," commented Red Tommy. "It took me years of intense hypnotherapy to get over that."

Black Tommy, having also remorphed, simply shot at Green Tommy with his Z-rex Blaster and knocked the Dragon Dagger out of Green Tommy's hand. "That's for giving me the horrible image of myself in pink. I'm going to have nightmares for a week. As I was trying to say, I'm the mentor of my current Ranger Team."

"Just like Zordon?" inquired White Tommy in awe. "I AM the greatest!"

"Yep, I'm even in charge of teenagers with annoying attitudes. I love seeing them squirm when I give them pop quizzes in my science class."

"WHAT?" yelped Green Tommy who was trying to put his Dragon Dagger back together with White Tommy's hair gel. "No way would I ever become a geek like that Billy. There's no way I would ever become a teacher and wear geeky glasses." He glared at Black Tommy who was now polishing his own eyeglasses.

"Yeah," agreed Red Tommy, "I'm struggling to get a C in Chemistry. Did I slip in through some alternate route program? What happened to my race car driving? How are you keeping away from Kat?"

"Kat ran off with Kim a few months after they met again in Muranthius. Turns out they had more in common than their worship of me." Black Tommy ignored the other three Tommies retching at this. "And I didn't slip into teaching. I have a Phd. I helped Hayley develop the morphers and Zords."

"Whoa, a new babe?" asked White Tommy. "I guess I haven't lost my touch after all."

"Well, I have," sniffled Black Tommy. "I've been hitting on her for the past two years and all I get is flak about not having rescued the Pink Dino Gem from that exploding island so she could be a Ranger also."

White Tommy leaned back against the wall and grinned. "Anyway, I bet Zordon's really proud of you...me."

"Oh, he can't be, he's dead." Black Tommy smacked his hand over his mouth when he realized his blooper.

"WHAT?" screeched White Tommy. "How? Who? Why?" He continued to babble for a minute.

Black Tommy sighed. "He had the Red Ranger destroy his tube so he could..."

White Tommy remorphed and whirled on Red Tommy. "YOU, YOU KILLED ZORDON!" He brandished Sabba. "For that you will DIE!" He began to chase Red Tommy who had also remorphed.

"No!" called Black Tommy. "I didn't mean..."

Red Tommy waved his own Turbo Sword at Black Tommy. "How DARE you even imply that I would kill Zordon! He's my hero! Well, aside from myself that is. For this insult you will DIE!" He began to chase Black Tommy while still being pursued by White Tommy.

"I got it!" shouted Green Tommy holding his now duct-taped Dragon Dagger in triumph. He looked at the other Tommies who were now running around the bedroom. "Now to get back to killing that goody-two-shoes White Tommy. Time to die, Tiger Boy!" With great glee, he began to chase after White Tommy, who was chasing after Red Tommy, who was chasing after Black Tommy.

Something occurred to Black Tommy who pulled out his Brachio Staff. "A geek? A GEEK! No one calls me a geek! For that, you will DIE!" He began to chase after Green Tommy.

So, the four Tommies chased each other in a circle non-stop for the next six hours until they heard White Tommy's alarm clock go off. "Oh my God! I'm late for my date with Kim! She'll punish me by making me go to the mall again!" White Tommy teleported out of the room.

"I'm late for my big race. Uncle John is going to run me over!" Red Tommy jumped back into his car and raced off.

"I'm late for Back to School night at the highschool. Principal Randall will have my head!" Black Tommy hopped back into the Timeship and blasted off.

"I'm late for my nightly 'visit' with Rita. She'll make me do the Lambada with Goldar!" Green Tommy teleported out of the room.

"Hello?" asked Sabba who had been dropped on the rug in all the confusion. "Anybody there? Anybody? Don't leave me here! I swear you'll be hearing from my lawyer!"


End file.
